the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
