They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
