She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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