i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
