dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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