he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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