She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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