ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
