Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
