I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
