I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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