She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
