I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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