dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
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Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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