HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
