I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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