So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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