if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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