if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
