hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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