I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
