Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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