Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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