Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
