Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
