This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
