Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
