I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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