fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.