I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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