and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
are you so shy because you have an std?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
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You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
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Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me