i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him