Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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