there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
this will be a night to untag.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
