Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
