Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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