CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
