Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
