new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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