Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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