therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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