Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
