Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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