why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
