I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
