Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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