he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
