Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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