I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
