We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
it's like iHOP with fire
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.