I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
