Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator

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  (503): The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator http://tfl.nu/5qfu
  Replies (37) Good night (453) Bad night (5227) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."

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  (503): PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true." http://tfl.nu/yccu
  Replies (17) Good night (5694) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...

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  (248): Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed... http://tfl.nu/xlpz
  Replies (120) Good night (1394) Bad night (5089) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He probs deserved it.

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Every good man does.

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  (317): I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell. (260): He probs deserved it. (317): Every good man does. http://tfl.nu/4ma5
  Replies (32) Good night (5455) Bad night (1618)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.

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  (630): I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real. http://tfl.nu/twnp
  Replies (16) Good night (3324) Bad night (1368) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH

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  (305): Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH http://tfl.nu/d4s2
  Replies (2) Good night (1896) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.

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  (989): Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment. http://tfl.nu/uqhq
  Replies (20) Good night (2923) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight

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  (631): ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight http://tfl.nu/dytu
  Replies (29) Good night (2535) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there

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  (509): he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there http://tfl.nu/265p
  Replies (7) Good night (1369) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will be naked everywhere

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  (814): I will be naked everywhere http://tfl.nu/uvl6
  Replies (4) Good night (1722) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest

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  (724): Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest http://tfl.nu/2gbs
  Replies (7) Good night (813) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  "I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken

  (269): View more from Michigan

  "Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy

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  (269): "I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken (269): "Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy http://tfl.nu/49f2
  Replies (7) Good night (1372) Bad night (497)
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  (415): View more from California

  Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.

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  (415): Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups. http://tfl.nu/od5l
  Replies (12) Good night (2094) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body

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  (973): casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body http://tfl.nu/5oad
  Replies (2) Good night (510) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?

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  (617): A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck? http://tfl.nu/zk7d
  Replies (13) Good night (3446) Bad night (531)

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