Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Screwed.edu
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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