No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
