that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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