he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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