he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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