dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
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he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
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They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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