If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
