I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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