normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
