like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You ruined the universe
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My life is pants optional.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
