I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
