I'm lost and stupid without you.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
