Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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