turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
