I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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