Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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